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70s, A.W. Tozer, charismatic, Charles Spurgeon, christian, christianity, church, emotion, J.I. Packer, John Stott, passion, praise, reformed theology, Watchman Nee, worship
Within a few years of becoming a Christian in the mid-70s, I found that I was faced with a dilemma. My heart was brimming with love for Christ. I was completely overwhelmed by the realization that he had given his life for me, and I wanted nothing more than to give my life for him. I was very emotional, and expressing my emotion in prayer and praise was as natural as breathing.
At the same time, I was learning a lot, as I was devouring books by J.I. Packer, Charles Spurgeon, John Stott, Jerry Bridges, A.W. Tozer, C.S. Lewis, Watchman Nee, Andrew Murray, Corrie Ten Boom, Elisabeth Elliot, and many others. My understanding of God’s Word was growing, and my thinking was maturing.
Then it happened. Slowly, I began to realize I was going to have to make a choice I didn’t want to make.
By that time I had grown to love the doctrines of grace that I found in the writings of Packer and Spurgeon and Stott, and later, other writers like J.C. Ryle and Sinclair Ferguson. I had also grown to love the passionate expressions of worship common in the somewhat unstructured environment of the charismatic movement of the 70s. But… whenever I found a church that valued good doctrine, it was generally opposed to passionate expressions of worship. And whenever I found a church that valued passionate worship, good doctrine was almost a matter of indifference to them. Frankly, that baffled me.
Not going to church wasn’t an option. (It still isn’t, by the way, but I’m not so sure that’s as obvious to everyone as it should be.) So I found myself forced to choose between profound, intense, God-exalting worship, and profound, intense, God-exalting doctrine; or, between heat and light, as some have put it.
That isn’t the case so much any more. There are many people who identify themselves as Reformed charismatics, or charismatic Calvinists. (I fully intend to pursue that subject at some point.) But back then it seemed to me that those who should have been most impassioned by the glorious truths of God’s sovereignty and grace, were instead dying of dignity.
I want to follow this post with at least one more on this particular subject, but for now I’m curious about something. Have any of the rest of you ever found yourself facing this same dilemma? What did you do?
(Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5)
I am blessed with a church that provides good bible teaching and the ability and freedom to worship with passion.
It is more about your comfort level with publicly displaying your love for the Lord than with abiding by convention.
I find myself growing more expressive but I have a long way to go, as I tend to want to stay in the shadows and within myself. But I can come into the light as I chose and at my pace.
I know that isn’t often the case and my heart goes out to those who cannot experience it.
I think style of “worship” (I say “worship” because what we’ve come to call worship, singing songs in a group, is a very tiny bit of what it is to worship God) is a matter of personal preference, and should not really be judged as dead or alive at face value.
Appearances can be deceiving. And this I know very well. As a very young adult, I was a false professor of faith who swayed and waved hands and spoke in “tongues” (I put that in quotes not to argue a cessationist position, but because I was coached on how to do it by a well-meaning gal in the back room of the church. It did not happen spontaneously, as in the book of Acts.). I would leave a lively worship service to go live my otherwise immoral and hate-filled life. I knew plenty of others who did the same, ultimately leaving the church, abandoning their professions and thus proving themselves, and their lively worship, to have been false. I certainly do not mean to say this is the case with all who’s worship is more lively; just to say, that the outward display is not a reliable measure of inward sincerity.
Since becoming a Christian, I’m not all that attracted to that style of “worship”, perhaps because of those associations. I’m not especially critical of it either, except to say that it can have the effect of creating “heat without light”, which can mislead people, as I myself was mislead. I can say, however, that since my conversion I’ve been moved to tears many times during the “dignified” singing of hymns. In this case the “heat” comes as a result of the “light”, which is how it should be. And I leave the singing to go on and live a life of repentance and increasing sanctification, which is how it should be. Worship is a lifestyle: “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, as you teach and admonish one another in all wisdom, and as you sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.” Col. 3: 15-17. (Isaiah 58 also comes to mind, as regards to heat without light.)
Those were perhaps too many words to say that heat and light must always go together, but singing time is not the best time to test for heat. It is measured more acurately by a life lived in it’s entirety to the glory of God.
(And as a side note, I appreciate the very thought provoking questions you pose in your blog, and your fair-minded way of handling your responses.)
Laurie,
I completely agree with your broader definition of worship. It must be seen as a lifestyle (Romans 12:1-2).
I didn’t intend to leave the impression that physical expressiveness is all there is to worship, though perhaps I did exactly that in my attempt to be brief. So you don’t need to apologize for using “too many words” in your clarification. You didn’t. It was very helpful.
With that clarification in place, I would still say that physical and emotional expressiveness should be an intrinsic aspect of all worship, even using the broader biblical definition.
I wasn’t actually confining my thoughts here to singing. In fact, I intentionally never mentioned singing, choosing instead to refer more broadly in the first paragraph to “expressing my emotion in prayer and praise.”
While singing time may not be the best time to test for heat, it is nonetheless a profoundly biblical time (as the life of David and the inspired Psalms attest) for generating heat. How can we sing unemotionally or unexpressively about the manifold glory and beauty and perfection of God?
No doubt, appearances can be deceiving–both ways. Emotionalism can simply be a cloak for iniquity, as you rightly pointed out. Dignity and reverence may also be a clever disguise for spiritual death.
As always, thanks for your thoughtful interaction.
“Dignity and reverence may also be a clever disguise for spiritual death.”
No doubt true, since that describes my childhood denominational church. I reacted to that by swinging to the opposite end of the spectrum, which was what I described above. So now I’m hoping for true heart worship, whatever that may look like in my particular circumstances. I wish I could say I always worship, in all I do, with all the light and heat appropriate to our great and awesome God. I really wish I could say that.
Laurie, I see that Edwards has influenced your response (heat & light).
Barry, I understand your plight. Fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, when I am in the presence of the Light, I am melted and can ‘t speak anyway.
So I am the guy standing there, with tears running down his cheeks completely unable to speak and/or sing.
I do, however, prefer to sit in the very front row, so that I am not drawing attention to myself. I can sing out to my hearts content and not have the person in the row in front of me influencing my praise.
Good post, Barry. Again. I can relate to where you’ve been, Laurie, I had a similar experience growing up.
I was reading a series of posts by Mark Roberts and I think he sheds some helpful light on this kind of discussion. He was talking about spiritual gifts and how “charismatic” refers to all of as Christians, not just ones who are expressive. So, we shouldn’t look at it as all or nothing, we are all there.
In regard to worship, our hearts must be engaged along with our heads. That’s how we *all* need to worship. To choose one or the other is a mistake and not honoring God.
David,
Sitting in the front row… great strategy (but totally foreign to Southern Baptists, I’m afraid!)
Tony,
Thanks for your comment. Feel free to come back and leave a link to Mark Roberts’ series in a comment. I always enjoy his writing.
Hi Barry,
Sorry I didn’t respond sooner. I just got back from a concert at my church by Matthew Smith and Indelible Grace. It was awesome! A real head and heart experience. Anyway, the link I was talking about was at http://www.markdroberts.com/htmfiles/resources/spiritualgifts.htm
Your right, Mark is a great writer and really gets his point across well.
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